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July 7, 2010

Shoes..


I went back last night…
To the place you promised that I’ll always find you,
You said I could come there and be with you when I’m cold, confused and lonely.
I was none of that.
I just missed you.
And I had to return your pair of shoes. You had given it to me last summer.
I love the shoes, you know.
Comfortable.
I like how the laces are always curly.
I loved the neon shoe-strings.
I loved the marks of cigarette stubs under the sole.
I love the shoes.
But they are yours, right?
I really don’t know how I end up loving something that’s never mine.
More notably, what is yours.
But, if this isn’t yours, then I really don’t want it.
I guess that’s why I don’t know what to do with myself. Coz I’m not yours either.
I walked up the path that led to our castle you had built, with rotten wood,
But you weren’t there.
Not that I knocked to check. I just knew.
I carefully kept your shoes on the floor.
I didn’t place them on the rocking chair outside.
I was afraid that the chair will rock and the shoes will go to sleep.
And if they do, they’d dream.
And if they’d dream, they’d dream about us.
But those nice shoes…actually great shoes, would get hurt if they dream about something that can never happen.
I know how it feels when a dream shatters.
I’ve walked that lane before.
In your shoes.
But today, I’ll walk in mine.
So that I can finally realize what it feels to be myself.
So that I can finally grasp that it’s finally over.
So that I can move on.
Move on, in my own shoes.
They aren't very comfortable.
The laces don’t curl.
The shoe strings aren’t neon.
And they don’t have cigarette stubs under their sole.
I’ll learn to love them eventually.
And then one fine day, when the rotten wood perishes, and the rocking chair breaks due to the added burden of the lies you tell yourself,
When your door falls off its hinges in the anticipation of a knock,
When your shoes aren’t comfortable anymore,
You’ll finally learn to love them, to want them.
Till then, I say goodbye.
At least try to keep your shoes clean,
So what if your heart isn’t?

30 Mississippi:

Shantanu said...

Wonderful..so true it is that there is nothing like inanimate thing, if we can be lil sensitve.

But I am still in the fever of "Nostalgia".

A. K. said...

Amazing! Just love how you connects a completely different topic with another emotion. Honestly, am not a big fan of Poetry but I have to admit, i loved reading every bit of it..

suruchi said...

Omg...you are so good with this!
There is such a brilliant hop n back that u do that keeps us intangled in your words!
Beautiful as always Pavitra...
Beautiful as you may be!:-)

♦ Crazy Diamond ♦ said...

oh wow... very deep... and you used shoes of all the things... very well written pavi

hmm i want shoes with neon shoestrings

Pooja said...

Such pain..such intensity!

How do u do it? Lovely piece!

Sovina said...

amazing to read and very captivating :)

didn't think that shoes could have such depth:)

http://weddingonthecards.blogspot.com/

nikita said...

Gorgeous!!!

loved the last line - so what if your heart isn't?

shoes and u and him...smthng u haven't said could be heard all the while i was reading it...

dreams would get shattered those shoes will dream...i believe its a master piece..

i read it three times...

Scribbling Girl said...

wow what a piece of writing...its indeed true thats its these kind of shoes which keeps the link even long after its lost and once we let it go we can discover the new us...the one we can see in the mirror from our eyes and live it .
Beautiful truly!

Harsha said...

... and hence the reason i prefer sandals.. :p

but seriously, if not anything, u can definitely sell shoes.. n i mean that as a compliment.. brilliantly written.. btw, were the shoes stolen without his notice?? ;)

Sorcerer said...

Beautiful lines..
visualization was so perfect..
:)
I loved it.

Pavitra .... said...

@ Shantanu:
Thank you so much! Yeah, I too feel that nothing is inanimate. Everything should be treated with some sensitivity....
Cheers!

Pavitra .... said...

@ A.K:
Thanks a ton! Ohh, you don't like poems..I'm honestly glad you read my post and loved it! :)
Take Care!

Pavitra .... said...

@ Suruchi:
Hey thanks dear! Glad you loved it so much sweetie...
Its really sad when relationships end...
:)

Pavitra .... said...

@ Dips:
Haha..Yeah I used shoes! One more thing you can share with your boyfriend other than a t-shirt of course ;)
I'm a bit crazed for converse now...So, I guess thats why...
Thank you so very much!

Anonymous Someone said...

and they say, the shoes are the mirror to a Man's personality.

Maybe keeping the shoes clean would make him clean up his heart too...

Nice one, a totally abstract topic, wonderfully narrated.

Regards
Blasphemous

♥ Chocolate lover ♥ said...

awwww.. its really beautiful :O

loved the way you wrote it ^^

you are AWESOME ^^

P.S. thanks for following *hugs*

Pavitra .... said...

@ Pooja:
Thanks dear! I'm glad you liked it!

Pavitra .... said...

@ Sovina:
Thanks for following sweetie....and thank you for your sweet comment...
According to me, in relationships, everything you share, animate or inanimate holds a great sentimental value...you tend to get attached to it...Even if they are just shoes...
So, I do believe, even shoes have a great depth :)
Cheers!

Pavitra .... said...

@ nikita:
Thank you so much dear...I'm happy you liked it so much...
Thankfully, this isn't about me :)
But yes, many things have gone unspoken...
Cheers!

Pavitra .... said...

@ Scribbling Girl:
Thank you very much! Well interpreted...
Its very difficult, but eventually you have to learn to live with yourself...and love yourself again...
:)

Pavitra .... said...

@ Harsha:
Hahaha...Maybe she'll take a T-shirt of yours! :D
And, lets just say the shoes were given to her... :)
Thanks a ton!

Pavitra .... said...

@ Sorcerer:
Thank you so much! :)
Cheers!!

Pavitra .... said...

@ Anonymous Someone:
Hey! I've heard that too! Clean shoes, clean heart.. :)
Thank you very much!!

Pavitra .... said...

@ Chocolate Lover:
Thank you so much sweetie! thanks for following!
:)
Cheers!!

Harsha said...

Hee hee.. very cleverly u have replied as though 'she' is a third person.. ;)

btw, y my t-shirts??

A Girl Who Believed In Angels said...

Be urself?
When was the last time I thought of being myself?

Pavitra .... said...

@ Harsha:
Actually, 'she' is a third person...but I don't want to get into the details :D

T-Shirts.....because you wear sandals! :)

Pavitra .... said...

@ The Girl Who Believed In Angels:
Hey dear...I bet everything will be fine on your side eventually...
being yourself is the only way to finally be happy...
:)

Harsha said...

If u say so.. :p

n i still dnt follow.. t-shirts and sandals.. i am not getting the connection..

Pavitra .... said...

@ Harsha:
Hehe...nevermind!