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June 24, 2009

Saving You The Trouble.....

Whenever you are in trouble, don’t panic. Just calm down and count to five and there you go, everything is going to be alright. She hated this statement. She thought, “When my life is spiraling crazily out of control, why the hell should I count to five?? Have you ever experienced this? Has your life ever gone so out of hand that you would love to stay in the darkness and drown in your tears? Well, join the gang! I’m the founder by the way!"


She sat there and looked up. She smiled. “There you are. You were never a great friend, you know. Have you ever faced such lunatic problems in life? I don’t think so. You look like someone whose has never had one hair out of place. Just perfect! Ahh…there comes that smile of yours. You like being called perfect, don’t you? You know, mom doesn’t like you. And I really don’t know why. She tells me to stay away from you. But…you’re so faultless and ideal. You understand me so well. Wait a second, I’ll be back, Moms calling..!”


She came back hurriedly.
“Ah…that was close. Mom heard voices. She was asking who I was talking to. I told her I was watching TV. Don’t worry, I didn’t give you away. She would freak if she knew I was talking to you. She hates you. But how would she understand? You are the only friend that I have got! God! I hate being so pathetic. I hate being me! You don’t know how hard it is to be someone normal! Every morning, I don’t want to get up. I want to be you. They say I am going through a “dark phase”. Well, at least my therapist says so. But what does that idiot know? One degree doesn’t stop him from being an idiot, does it? Do you think it’s easy loving yourself? You know what I wanna be? I wanna be NUMB. I don’t wanna feel anything. I wanna be you. You know something, I bet mom likes you better than me, with your perfect everything. You made me like this. But mom, she cannot see all this. I know she hates me. I hate you. Well, I hope the two of you live happily ever after in your fucking world!


There you go. I’m gone now. It’s so simple. One shard of broken glass can make your life so much better.
Oh fuck! The mirror! Damn. Moms going to kill me for this. Ohh wait a minute, she won’t have to. I already did that for her.!

15 Mississippi:

Amal Bose said...

that was brilliant work Pavitra..
really enjoyed it :-)
take care

sanely insane said...

whenever I see perfection, i make a mental note...i'm in awe or my hearts beating too fast to let me observe the whole..

to be in real admiration or to really love someone i have come to believe one must not ignore their imperfections...but be able to find them cute...annoying but cute :P

ok why am I giving gyan :P ...was a nice write up

btw the first thing abt u tht i noticed...were the heels....not how much u talk :P

Pavitra .... said...

@ Amal:
Thank you so much....I'm glad you enjoyed it..! :)

@ sanely insane:
Awww...Thanks a lot for the gyan..!! ;)
Well, I love the heels too..!

Anurag said...

eww...Scary... You wrote :O

Didn't expect...You wokkay :P

Aniket said...

Whoaaa!! That was superb. Dark and spooky. But I think you should let go of the disclaimer. It sort of takes away some of the credit from the end. And the end deserves all the praise.

Chriz said...


i clapped

The Clandestine Samurai said...

No, it is not easy to love yourself, but it is the solution. Loving yourself can bring the narrator a certain "numbness" as in an indifference to what other people think about them.

It seems as if the narrator drew that imaginary character out of some ideal societal figure that they are constantly comparing themselves to. If they're going to compare, they should note for themselves all the reasons why being human and imperfect is much better than being "perfectly normal" (which is a terrible thing to want to be, by the way, in my opinion).

Pavitra .... said...

@ Anurag:
Lol...I know...Yeah I'm fine yaar..! :D

Yeah. But I feel people might find it disturbing...coz i found it disturbing too....I was actually contemplating whether to put it up or not.....


@The Clandestine Samurai:
You're absolutely right. Being imperfect feels great! Well, the narrator didn't compare herself with anyone.. :D

muthu said...


a dark & gloomy read Pavitra...

I kind a liked the ending.....

though something dark was expected, it was kind a poignant ending.



Vinnie said...

a really nice narration...the title is very apt too !

Shafi said...

hey ....... cool blog

Stupidosaur said...

Err I am kinda sick of posts about nutters 'going in some deep corners of their minds' and killing themselves or others :P

They are like all over the blog world. And mostly be females. (Why oh why!)


And it doesn't make any impact on 'faint heartedè

Shanu said...

Wow that was awesome :)
You write well!

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

First when i read the note, i wondered why is that being said like that.

After reading , realised the point..

Love is complicated, more complicated that it looks like or feels like.

Its somehting , understadning which takes a lifetime, sometimes..

Good write up :-)


Mahesh Sindbandge said...

I am new to your blog.

I must say , i liked many mundane things here on your blog.

See you around :-)