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May 31, 2009

Little Red goes Riding..!

On a blistering hot summer day, Miss Lola Reddy, also known as Little Red (mostly because she wore a trademark bright red mini skirt which complimented her sexy legs) was on her way to meet her best friend Janet who was admitted at Holy Cross hospital as she had contracted Malaria. Little red decided to go walking coz her sexy legs required some toning up.


She brushed her long black hair and applied mascara and lip-gloss, wore her red skirt and strutted her way in red high heels. On her way, she passed a Café Coffee Day. Outside the coffee shop were a group of notorious guys with their gang leader B.B Wolf. Now that particular coffee shop was a haven for all the “Chapris” of the area. You know what I’m talking about – the ones who are so full of themselves that just because they think they are God’s gift to women, everyone else should think so too. According to B.B wolf he was the ladies’ man! Like a wolf he eyed the young beauties in the neighborhood. And the answer to his success rate with women is – rich dad!


On spotting Lil’ Red strut her stuff across the street, he smiled menacingly. His prey had been spotted. Now to move in for the kill… Slowly he pulled up alongside her on his vintage Harley (typical old school guy!)

“Hey babe! Wanna ride of your lifetime?” he asked, with a sexy (according to him) grin on his face, his voice as smooth as velvet.

“Umm… I’m actually heading somewhere important” – Vroom! Vroom! Red was cut off by the revving of the Harley engine. He was really starting to annoy her. But the bike was AWESOME!

“Oh come on! I won’t sink my teeth into you. Let me at least drop you to where you’re headed.”

“I really shouldn’t. I’m in a big hurry…” and then she stopped talking.
Red had a smile on her face. She was checking him out and thinking something. You’ll come to know soon enough. She accepted his offer and hopped on to his ride.


Looking immensely pleased with himself, the Wolf rode his bike. Throughout the journey Wolf spoke only about himself (a very appealing topic in his opinion) while Red was rolling her eyes. Finally, they reached the hospital. Red couldn’t help but notice that Wolf was heavily loaded. Her eyes roamed over all his possessions – the latest cell phone, the funky Ray Ban aviators, an expensive looking wallet, a watch from Fossil- no doubt stuffed with loads of cash and of course, the Harley… too bad he was all style, no brains.


Wolf wasn’t too keen on letting Red go so easily and so, he eagerly offered to wait for her while she went up to visit her friend. At this, Red batted her mascara-ed eyelashes (works every time ladies!) and requested him to wait for around 10 minutes while she went and checked up on her friend. Wolf eagerly agreed and patiently waited for her…


When Red came back down, she flirtatiously suggested that they go to the nearby deserted park and spend a little time to get to know each other. Wolf’s excitement knew no bounds. So, to the park they went. However, he decided at the last minute to quickly go to the nearby florist and surprise Red with a few flowers. So she went to the park alone and waited for him. When he came back, he found a solitary figure, sitting among the bushes. He decided to play a little game…

“My, what beautiful eyes you have!”

“The better to see you with darling…”

He stepped a little closer… “What luscious lips you have baby!”

“To kiss you with sweetheart…”

He stepped even closer to Red and that was when something shiny caught his eye.

“Hey, what’s that in your hand?”

“It’s a knife and it’s perfect to rob you with baby!!!”


And Red whisked out a small but rather deadly looking knife and swiftly brought it to Wolf’s throat. Poor Wolf completely lost his head and tried to run away. However Red reacted faster and knocked him out. Red quickly took away his valuables and pocketed the keys to his Harley.

Red was never to be found after that…and poor Wolf got amnesia due to the blow to his head. Last I heard, he was still recovering in some classy hospital. However, I do hope, Red’s treating that Harley right!!


P.S. Reports claim that she had undergone plastic surgery to keep her identity discreet.
Here is her latest picture.



May 28, 2009

WHY WHY WHY???


Note: This post is not meant for cowards. Lots of rambling and complaining and whining involved.

I’m not the kind of person who gets pissed off easily. Who am I kidding? I am that kind of person. Brash. Irrational. But this time, my patience has been tested for more than half a year. In other words, my patience has finally ditched me. Why do bad things happen to good people? It was one whole month of peace and quiet and suddenly, downpour. Why did you ever have to come back? I have begun to have a murderous intent…..And the picture in my head right now, believe me guys, it’s not very pretty….and the ideas in my head, partly coz I’ve been spending my day playing Hitman, aren’t pleasant either….Is it so difficult for some people to just back off? Or do they get the idea only when they are made to back off? Is the cliché ‘Old habits die hard’ true? I know I’m sounding like a schizophrenic now. But seriously, I could murder right now…..or at least, break a nose, for sure. The one emotion which my aura would be radiating right now is –IRRITATION. I feel like screaming into a pillow. Are there some people put into this world just to make you feel wretched?

Why do the same awful, irritating people keep showing up again and again? If you didn’t have anything else to do, why don’t you go boil your head or fry your face in a pan or dig up something in your backward?

Sigh.

Girl, This is for you...




P.S. I know its not cool to complain. But I'm feeling a bit better already.

May 27, 2009

What's wrong with me???

Am I being too polite???

I interact with people a lot. And in the chaos of every day, I tend to be too polite and formal. It sometimes comes so naturally for me, that it makes my friends raise an eyebrow and ask, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
And I’m like, “I’m doing it again, huh?”

When did I start being Ms. Vocabulary and begin to use big words? Yesterday, when my 8 year old cousin was playing music too loudly, I said
“Could you please keep the volume low? Otherwise it will incapacitate your hearing.”
He was like “in-what?"
“Incapacitate. It means inju-“
And my voice was drowned by an even louder-

“Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn't meant to be okay.”

–American Idiot, Greenday.

Humph.

Today, I finally proved to myself that I was turning into an unstoppable courteous person.
I was returning back home from class and a street dog came in my way. Instead of shooing it away, I said “Excuse me.”
The dog gave me a ‘you’re a weird lady’ look and went on its way.

Sigh…I need some time off.


May 23, 2009

Yikes..!


A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "Every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe...

May 20, 2009

Love is.....





Hey guys...!! I'm in love with the 'love is' cartoon strips..! Here are some of my favorite ones....

LOVE IS...



when you can’t get him out of your mind.

LOVE IS...



toasting to celebrate the coming of spring.

LOVE IS...



“that super kiss” given at twelve o’clock on the New Year’s day.


LOVE IS....



bring out the best in each other.

LOVE IS...



the sun shining bright in a rainy day.




May 18, 2009

Oops..!




A few days ago, my younger brothers had gone for a drive with their friends. Being under age, they had a driver with them to take them around the place (Rich dad his friend must be having). Anyways, they had gone to visit a nearby lake. After having a lot of fun and clicking pictures in the blazing sun (hey, that rhymed!), they were exhausted and were dying to return to the air conditioned car. They had arrived in a white Santro and the AC was not working too well. In short, the people sitting in the front seat with the driver were the ones who were privileged of the AC’s proper effect.
So, they made a run for the car which was parked quite a distance away. Like Lunatics, they ran towards the car. Two of them, who were way in the lead, opened the front door, entered the car and put on the AC and Radio. To their astonishment, the driver was a completely different guy! They were in the wrong car!! This guy had been sleeping peacefully in his car when a pair of crazy boys hijacked his car and turned on the AC and Radio in full volume. “Who the hell are you? Get the fuck out of my car!” he yelled. They apologized immediately and got out of the car all embarrassed.
As they made their way towards their own car, they turned around to see the driver yelling at their other friends who had got into the wrong car just like them! God! What a shock it would have been for the driver to be woken up in this way! And as for my brothers, they still cannot stop laughing whenever they recollect the driver’s face….

May 12, 2009

Maybe we are all just Earthlings...


Hey guys! After a long era of exams, I’m finally free with two whole months of vacations (Aww! I love my life!). Anyway, my idleness got me thinking about various things and eventually I got thinking about relationships.

Well, there are so many kinds of relationships- those which give a kick to your life, the old and familiar ones, the exotic ones, the ones which take you far away from where you started and those which pull you back to the starting line. And in this roller-coaster of life, if you find someone you love, then isn’t life fabulous?

When you were a child, life was all about having fun and playing pranks. Now that we are adults, we have turned into more cautious and careful beings. We think before we take that giant leap in life. Sometimes, we even refrain from taking that leap because there is no one at the other end to catch us. Well, I guess life was never made with a safety net. When did I grow up? When did life stop being fun and start being scary?

So, coming back to relationships, I realize that maybe women don’t always have to be tamed by men. Maybe they are just meant to run free. And one fine day, they might run into that man who would calm them, or someone just as wild to run with them (I’m lucky to be here!). Maybe all men are drugs. Some get you to calm down and the others get you so high, there's never coming down again!

I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it! Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself? You know, the prim and proper ones, who strut their way to perfection, while I stumble my way. Sigh…

I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it! (Lol !)
As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, strap on a pair and just keep going!

We like to think our problems can be blamed on a failure of interplanetary communication. Maybe men and women aren't from different planets as pop culture would have us believe. Maybe we live a lot closer to each other. Perhaps, dare I even say it, in the same postal code! I guess it's easier than admitting we’re all earthlings, and we haven’t a clue. Lol ! Think about it…..

May 10, 2009

Mothers Love....!

This is the poem I had recited in school when I was 5 years old in a elocution competition. My mom took a lot of pain to help me learn this by-heart. Hey mum, I still remember it and here's to you! Today, on Mother's day, I dedicate to my mum and all the other mums out there...! You all deserve this....

MOTHER'S LOVE

A Mother's love is something,
That no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion,
And sacrifice and pain.
It is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may,
For nothing can destroy it or take that love away.
Her love is far beyond defining,
It defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret,
In the mysteries of creation.
A many splendid miracle,
Man can never understand,
She another wondrous evidence,
Of God's tender, guiding hand.


Love you so much mom...!

May 8, 2009

The Pulpit Joke!

Hey friends..! I recently read this one and I would like to share it with all of you'll. Worth a read guys..! Hilarious..! Joke... with due respect to all...


A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to
get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following
note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10..

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
Junior and the spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't
say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this
and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".

12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks
for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

AMEN!

LMAO..!