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December 28, 2008

FROM PANACHE TO PANACEA...


On any typical holiday morning, all the shopping centers and stores are bursting with women - shopping. This seemingly insatiable hobby is much-loved yet largely misunderstood pastime for millions of women around the world. Ask any woman why she shops and often the simple response will be "because it's fun!"

Yup, shopping is therapeutic…most women will vouch for this statement…..and most men will shrug their shoulders in perplexity…and being a woman, I love to shop a lot and I feel incredible after a superb round of shopping..

What makes women shop till they drop?? Is it because women are materialistic beings and they yearn for material assets?? The point is not this. But why do men detest the idea of shopping and women look forward to it? Is it because of the passé “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” theory? Maybe. The truth is men and women view shopping from a completely different angle…I guess their upbringing has a lot to do with this. Shopping, being the butt of many jokes since quite a long time, men from the start, find it sissy and enfeebling. Now, I wouldn’t like to start the war of the sexes (although its tempting).

I would like to elucidate why women love shopping. Clearly, everyone likes the idea of getting something new, nice and useful for them. Apart from that, woman find shopping enjoyable and it can be even therapeutic for them.

For starters, shopping is an outlet for women. It their big chance to shut themselves off from all their worries, tensions and pressures. It’s their ultimate STRESS-BUSTER. Women, when they are feeling down, feel a great deal better after a round of shopping.

Shopping for women is like treating themselves. And, who on earth wouldn’t want a treat, eh? They go shopping when they are feeling good and in the end feel even better..!! (see, it works both ways!)

Shopping is like a treasure hunt. We go looking for something and end up buying much more than we expected…!! I guess, that’s why they say “Men are hunters and Women are gatherers”.

To go shopping with a group of friends, even though you are not going to buy anything is unadulterated joy..!! It’s like a great escapade and it’s our idea of full-on time pass..!! Shopping is a major ego-booster and making so many decisions in one go is a bigger ego-boost (although this may not be the case for women getting their share of decision making in their lives).

Well, I have mentioned enough reasons…..and I’m bushed now…

Guess, it’s time for some fashion-therapy..!!

December 27, 2008

LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR????


Everyone must have stumbled upon neighbours at some point of time in their lives…neighbours who know more about what is going on in our house than the entire family put together…they can be sneaky, nosy, bitchy, sweet, lovable and caring..
The love-hate relationship you have with your neighbours (unless you are lucky of course!) can give you bouts of pain, indigestion and a murderous intent and if you’re lucky, some amount of joy and happiness too…!!


And being a teenager in such a situation is even worse, when your parents are constantly bombarded with newsflashes from redundant gossip mongers of neighbours(and not the building-aunties......actually the uncles do so nowdays....."male bitches"….!! The aunties now-a-days are too busy trying to become hep and mod....to go with the generation....on the other hand....the grumpy uncles are slowly going under the ghoongat...) “I saw your daughter talking to this boy twice” or else “I think this boy is following your daughter” blah blah..!! And eventually I have been held at gunpoint with questions such as “what is this I am hearing?” and stuff…!! (According to me, these kind of neighbours are pure ASSHOLES and you can expect only SHIT out of them!). I sometimes wonder why parents don’t even believe their own children in matters like this….I have lost many amazing friends due to all this bitching and may lose a few more…and it has irritated the hell out of me to see these neighbours dancing to the tunes of their victories!






It has been said correctly:


"Great minds discuss ideas,


Mediocre minds discuss events


And small minds discuss people”
-Eleanor Roosevelt





I mean, what’s your problem oldie…?? Shouldn’t you be worrying about what your daughter(or even wife) is doing presently rather than poke your nose into trivial matters …!!? Are you people so desperate to have a hot topic to discuss when you have those general body meetings of the building …?? As it is there has been no obvious change in our locality since you have entered the committee….
After experiencing all this, take it from me…..




“Love thy neighbour – but don’t pull down your hedge”

December 25, 2008

VENGEANCE....

-An Ode to the HPB (high profile bitch)--(AD)



You prance in like a pony,
And blow my life apart,
I continue gathering the pieces,
Now wondering where to start.
You had your chance before,
Now back off you bitch,
I’ll make your life miserable,
And I’ll enjoy when you writhe.
And then the truth will dawn on you,
The truth that I very well know,
The truth behind your pointless stare,
The face which never shows.
The secret looks you give,
The gist of that phony smile,
That juvenile voice you use to get your way,
Those gimmicks to catch the eye.
Just pull the plug on your ridiculous actions,
Your feeble “reasons” to keep in touch,
The treats, the meets you ask for,
And cling on as if “we” mean so much..!!

December 23, 2008

6 facts you didn’t know about me until now….

Well, I was inspired to write this from a magazine I read…..and I also wanted something entered in this blog to satisfy the cravings of the mass (i.e. you people)…..so here I go….six unrevealed things about me…..in a nutshell..!!

1. I used to feel that I have a psychic connection with the feline species when I was a kid…. I thought I could comprehend their words…. Hear their thoughts…… once I even thought I was turning into one…!! (Boy this did freak my mum out……and she still taunts me about it…lol...!)

2. I hate it when other people organize my stuff….my clothes….. my books….it’s my sweet mess (orderly mess according to me) and I love to live in it…thank you very much……and yes, I know I have the obsessive compulsive disorder(OCD) symptoms -as pointed out by someone…….


3. My blood group is O positive……THE UNIVERSAL DONOR……and I’m very proud of it…..although I have nothing to do with it….it’s still great to be one……and even if I don’t look like someone who can give blood (I might require some though)…..it’s a feel-good factor for me..!!

4. I play the piano……I have given exams from Trinity College of Music, London…….still two more grades to give.....no time for that as such……..


5. When I was little….I had an ambition of doing veterinary medicine and to get a job as a doctor in San Diego zoo….or else be a part of the Steve Irwin (miss you) crew…..and have a totally wild time……

6. I love to talk…..I can jabber non-stop for hours without getting bushed…..and I’m short tempered…although I don’t show it..…For all those people who think I’m a very quiet person, it might be just that you are too boring…..

December 22, 2008

MY LIFE......

WELL FRIENDS, AT FIRST, MY MIND WAS A BOLTED DOOR....TIGHTLY SHUT.....NOT ALLOWING ANYONE TO GET A SNIFF OF THE CONFLICTING IDEAS AND THOUGHTS.....NOW THAT I DO HAVE AN OUTLET....I HAVE FINALLY OPENED THE DOORS OF MY MIND TO THE WORLD TO MAKE SURE MY INBORN TALENT IS STILL IN PLACE.........THANKS FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND ENCOURAGEMENT....AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU'LL WOULD EGG ME ON TO WRITE MANY MORE OF SUCH MARVELS..!!

December 13, 2008

Mundane New Year's.....





The year is coming to an end,
But somehow I'm unable to feel,
The rippling excitement among people,
That is gradually showing visage.
Should I go shopping too?
And buy those fancy clothes.
But where should I go wearing those high-heels,
Strutting on tippy-toes….?
Theres nothing to look forward to,
No fancy parties…not even family gatherings,

Nothing but a plain dreary day,
Staring coldly back at me.
I’ve got to study,
I try to convince myself,
But no matter how many times I say so,
It never really helps.
I sometimes envy others,
Their extraordinary plans…the works..!
Hoping I would be included somewhere,
Be a part of their dances and jokes,
Three new years have come and gone,
But things have never changed.
How much more do I have to wait….?
Till something changes my fate…?
Hoping that my dream comes true,
Where I will be with you’ll,
Laughing and dancing to heart’s content,
To all those latest groovy songs.
And when the clock would strike 12,
All of us would come to a stop,
Then suddenly give a thunderous roar,
As the confetti falls from roof to floor.

December 2, 2008

LETTER TO THE PRIME MINISTER....

Dear all,

I don't know the source of this article ..... but still this is also one of those outraged comments about terrorist attacks that we have come across in past couple of days. I thought that I should just share this article , in my individual capacity with you ...

"The Belief of attaining perfection is a hindrance to self actualisation and development. The Growth of mankind is vested in 'perfecting' the so called perfection".

LETTER TO PRIME MINISTER

Dear Mr. Prime minister,

I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mice. Mice atleast squeak but we don't even do that.Today I heard your speech in which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bollywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on the unfortunate people of India. Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima.We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug. Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kickout this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it? I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar. Look at all the politicians, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, BalThackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money. Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist can comfortably live in those houses , enjoy the beauty of sea and then attack the Mumbai at their will. Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your finance minister are not aware of it. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything. If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side weare reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is INDIAN. You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of divide and rule. Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such a intelligent person, such a fine human being. You politicians didn't even spare him.Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person. Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person,most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost expose all selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account holder. Give reins of CBI to independent agency.Let them find wolf among us. There will be political upheaval but that will better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day. Just give us ambient where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of. Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?



November 30, 2008

CRAZY BITCH..!!



























This poem is dedicated to all those popular, snobbish, bitchy and dim-witted girls (curtsy AD) whom i have stumbled upon at some point of time in my life.....!!






You're one of those girls whose always on the scene,


You're only here to spawn trouble you know what I mean.


You're slim, you're pretty.. and you're daft for Pete’s sake!


Not to mention your snobbish airs and your personality fake!


All the girls wanna be you, and you’re sought by all the guys.


Why wouldn't they, you have that flashy smile and those beautiful eyes.


You know how to maneuver people to get your own way.


You’re a typical drama queen, and you’re like that every day!!


But heres the thing!!!


Honestly grow up you brat!!


I’m sick of your shit and I'm gonna give back


Get over yourself, you're no better than anyone else


In fact! most of us are better off than you..


coz we have brains,


but tell me, do you??

THE BEGINNING OF AN END...??

What a nightmare this has been for all of us since the past 60 hours.....I’m unable to find words because my brain is clogged with various hues of emotions---anger, fear, shame, frustration, sorrow and an unwavering urge to fight back..
Is there no security to our lives...? Are we living in anarchy where we are supposed to anticipate masked men carrying AK-47's all round the city ready to blow the brains out of people's heads at random just because they feel like it....!!?
The iconic and beautiful landmarks of our beloved city has been stained with the gruesome smear of hatred.....the stunning structure built by our patriots...ABLAZE...!!
We will not turn this into anarchy and we solely are to blame for this and not anyone else...
What have we come to....?? MUMBAI...!! Seeing a hostage crisis.....??
We have seen television news channels hurl haphazard figures at us-killed, injured…..and every time we have these fanatic organizations take accountability of their glorious deeds…!!
And what does Mumbai do after all this….???? Get back to work….show the Mumbai spirit….(honestly I feel like throwing up every time I hear this line)….Oh! get real people...we don’t get back to work just because we are resilient…..just because we are courageous……its only because we have to earn our livelihood…..or else we would lose the rat race…..
Our politicians are just a bunch of good for nothing, greedy pigs…..who would go to worlds end when it comes to contesting elections…..but would prove quite powerless when it comes to important matters like this…..
We require politicians who have the guts to stand up to all these atrocities….not just to warm the chairs……we do not need these politicians to fill up the vacancies in parliaments……ministers are appointed not so that they can be ornamented by all of us….
With a lot of respect to the elderly, I think it’s high time we stop electing ministers who are aged…..the speech and promises given by every prime minister is extremely humdrum…….
Do we see these politicians coming forward to clear up this mess…? An INDIAN OBAMA maybe…..but the politicians contesting elections these days….NEVER….!!
Is there anyone who could take charge of these issues…? The army…?
Yes maybe….as they are the only ones worth respecting now….
All those people who suffered for a cause…..to save their precious MUMBAI….!!..... Who never would have had to give up their lives in the first place..!!
I sincerely request the home minister to resign if he has even a little bit of shame left in him……I am ashamed to have a minister like you…….
WE ARE ANGRY……AND WE AWAIT ACTION…..!! lets take this unfortunate incident in a positive manner…..and vow that WE WILL FIGHT FOR JUSTICE…..!!
BECAUSE WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE…!!

Jai hind..!!